For the many people I’ve tried to explain this concept to, I feel like this explains it best.
I feel more alone than ever. I feel more isolated than ever, even in the light of so much love and support, and it is often because I’m looking for what she talks about here, when I reach out, or when people reach out to me: A CONNECTION
I’m not looking for a solution. You can’t fix my cancer. You can’t make the feelings I have about it stop. But you can sit with me. And listen to my feelings. Listen to my fears. You can choose to not undermine my experience by reminding me to ‘Stay Positive,’ when if you knew me at all, you’d know I’m an inherently positive person that always tries to maintain a positive attitude.
Staying positive doesn’t alleviate the fears, the lack of control, the uncertainty or the sadness. It’s simply a choice to take all those other feelings whenever I can, and try to set them aside and not let them own me. To choose to have hope. You know what? It’s a lot easier to set those feelings aside and keep staying positive when people open up their empathy and share this journey with me. When I can voice my truth, have it accepted and heard, and feel like even though you may not understand, you’re trying to.
Thank you to those who have.
*This post was originally shared to my facebook, and moved here so that I could collect my entire journey in one place.